A bus monitor (an elderly grandmother) was being relentlessly teased by students. Naturally, it was recorded and put onto You Tube. These students said things like everyone in your family kills themselves because they don't want to be around you (she had a family member who committed suicide). It just went ON and ON! It's absolutely sickening, heartless and intolerable. A fund was raised for the woman, of over $500,000, for her to use on a vacation and etc. ($500,000 would be a hell of a vacation, that's for sure!).
I appreciate that the kids apologized and that the bus monitor was receptive. She was very modest saying that she didn't deserve that money. She deserves every penny and more. I believe people can be remorseful of their actions and move forward. I really do. For something of that caliber, they need to receive consequences--and learn from that. I read a Yahoo article:
http://news.yahoo.com/bullies-apologize-karen-klein-she-wasn-t-doing-211400031.html;_ylt=ApUOyACeKBhpauagRiIClSrzWed_;_ylu=X3oDMTZkNjkyZGVhBGNjb2RlA2dtcHRvcDEwMDBwb29sd2lraXVwcmVzdARtaXQDQXJ0aWNsZSBNaXhlZCBMaXN0IE5ld3MgZm9yIFlvdSB3aXRoIE1vcmUgTGluawRwa2cDNWIzOTM0OTktYzM4OS0zNGU4LWJjNDYtMWZlYWZlNTg5NTQxBHBvcwMxBHNlYwNNZWRpYUJMaXN0TWl4ZWROZXdzRm9yWW91Q0FUZW1wBHZlcgMxMTRmMjExMC1iY2IwLTExZTEtOGJmYi1jNDlmM2NkZjk3MGY-;_ylg=X3oDMTMwNDg4NjA2BGludGwDdXMEbGFuZwNlbi11cwRwc3RhaWQDOTRiM2RkMjUtOWJmMC0zMTAxLTkyYTgtNjMxMDQ1Y2IxZTRhBHBzdGNhdAN1LXN8ZWR1Y2F0aW9uBHB0A3N0b3J5cGFnZQ--;_ylv=3Bullies Apologize to Karen Klein, but She Wasn't Doing Her Job
I apologize, I don't know how to make that link look normal. To sum it up, the author says that she feels bad for Karen, the bus monitor, but she should have stuck up for herself, done her job, and didn't deserve any of that money. Really? REALLY?! The money is the least of anyone's worries. Those were donations by people who felt for her cause. It's not school money, taxpayers money, no--that was sent by people who cared. The psychologically damaging effects will stay with her, for a good length of time. If that money allows her to retire and take time off then she needs to do it. She needs to escape the situation and move forward with her life. She can, absolutely, with time and self care being the foundations.
It's personal to me. I have dealt with bullies. I was not a kid in school. I was 25-years-old! I had just graduated from nursing school and worked in the hospital. There was another nurse (she was a little younger, but had been a nurse longer) that made me miserable. Nurses give reports on their patients, so the oncoming nurse can continue care. She would rip my reports apart and ask irrelevant questions she knew I would not know the answers to (it's been so long, I can't remember specifics). Once, I got really behind, and she was taking over my patients after my shift. There was a man who needed a heart monitor and I could not find one ANYWHERE. The hospital, though it had plenty of money for flat screen televisions in all of the rooms and brand new clinics, never had the money for properly functioning equipment. She loudly complained to everyone she possibly could about how this man needs a heart monitor (though not looking for one herself as she was too busy complaining). He was very stable (vital signs were fine, ambulatory, oriented, chest pains had subsided) and okay to wait a few minutes while I tried to locate a monitor (though it was important that we found one soon, I am not discounting that). "She should be fired" "She is a shitty nurse" etc. I was still there, after a 12-hour-shift, helping her get things completed. The charge nurse told me to go home and not help her anymore. Bless her heart.
This nurse, we will call her Jane, was a fucking nightmare. I objectively documented what Jane had said and done (and there were many more situations) and told my manager. I am NOT one to complain, EVER! I can handle most situations on my own without involving a supervisor. She had the nerve to say to me that "She was working on that, she's going through a rough time right now." The manager acted like it was ME who was causing it by telling me that people are frustrated when things aren't completed when they start their shifts. She didn't even talk to her about it. Jane had bullied countless other people that she felt were "beneath her." Nothing was DONE. NOTHING! The same nurse manager also encouraged peer reviews. It is important to get feedback from your coworkers (as the manager doesn't monitor your every move). However, malicious comments were in quotes throughout the assessment, no names. "Slow learner, slower than most" was in my review. Proper job assessments give you constructive feedback and specific examples. I knew this was not right. Not all the comments were bad. Some were quite good. However, I don't remember those. In hindsight, I would have gone up the corporate ladder. If you don't think anything will come of it and you don't have the confidence to deal with the repercussions of what this person could do--you will ignore it and allow it to continue for others.
It never got better. During this time of being employed at the hospital, I rarely left my house. I never saw my family or friends. I couldn't eat. I developed sores on my tongue, caused by a vitamin deficiency. I threw up every time I had to go to work. I lost 25 pounds. My heart rate would often be in the 130s (normal is 80) from anxiety. I slept as much as I could. I truly believed the world would be better without me. I am NOT exaggerating. It was that bad. Things like this are what happens to people that are bullied. The victim will never let their assassin know that and that is why it continues.
I thought it was me. It was NOT me! I found an amazing job as a nurse working with clients with Developmental Disabilities. Great clients, great staff, great coworkers. No problems with my new job. They don't tolerate bullying and it is written into their policy. I have not had a problem with being bullied since (I had never been bullied BEFORE my hospital situation). I had a great boss who, inadvertently, helped me get through this. I never told anyone, though I did tell her several years later. It has taken years to build confidence and skill--and I know I am a wonderful nurse. I do the very best I can, and that is all I can do. I may not be a good painter, I sure as hell am not a good singer, and I can't run to save my life--but I am an excellent nurse because I care, advocate, listen to feedback, follow up, and pursue learning opportunities so I can grow more. You may have skills and certifications galore--but if you don't care about your patients or care team, it doesn't matter. It DOESN'T MATTER.
So you are wondering what happened to Jane? I ran into the charge nurse at Culver's a year later. We chatted for a while and she knew my issues with Jane. Jane was mean to the wrong person. A family member of the CEO of the hospital system. She was subsequently terminated. I also saw the peer review forms for my yearly review, last year. It was an accident (they weren't supposed to be in the packet.). ALL of the reviews were positive. Don't let bullies ruin your life. They will never have the last word.
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