Saturday, June 23, 2012

Ang doesn't do bullies! Warning: It's very strongly worded.

A bus monitor (an elderly grandmother) was being relentlessly teased by students.  Naturally, it was recorded and put onto You Tube. These students said things like everyone in your family kills themselves because they don't want to be around you (she had a family member who committed suicide). It just went ON and ON!  It's absolutely sickening, heartless and intolerable. A fund was raised for the woman, of over $500,000, for her to use on a vacation and etc. ($500,000 would be a hell of a vacation, that's for sure!).

I appreciate that the kids apologized and that the bus monitor was receptive. She was very modest saying that she didn't deserve that money.  She deserves every penny and more.  I believe people can be remorseful of their actions and move forward.  I really do.  For something of that caliber, they need to receive consequences--and learn from that.  I read a Yahoo article:;_ylt=ApUOyACeKBhpauagRiIClSrzWed_;_ylu=X3oDMTZkNjkyZGVhBGNjb2RlA2dtcHRvcDEwMDBwb29sd2lraXVwcmVzdARtaXQDQXJ0aWNsZSBNaXhlZCBMaXN0IE5ld3MgZm9yIFlvdSB3aXRoIE1vcmUgTGluawRwa2cDNWIzOTM0OTktYzM4OS0zNGU4LWJjNDYtMWZlYWZlNTg5NTQxBHBvcwMxBHNlYwNNZWRpYUJMaXN0TWl4ZWROZXdzRm9yWW91Q0FUZW1wBHZlcgMxMTRmMjExMC1iY2IwLTExZTEtOGJmYi1jNDlmM2NkZjk3MGY-;_ylg=X3oDMTMwNDg4NjA2BGludGwDdXMEbGFuZwNlbi11cwRwc3RhaWQDOTRiM2RkMjUtOWJmMC0zMTAxLTkyYTgtNjMxMDQ1Y2IxZTRhBHBzdGNhdAN1LXN8ZWR1Y2F0aW9uBHB0A3N0b3J5cGFnZQ--;_ylv=3Bullies Apologize to Karen Klein, but She Wasn't Doing Her Job

I apologize, I don't know how to make that link look normal.  To sum it up, the author says that she feels bad for Karen, the bus monitor, but she should have stuck up for herself, done her job, and didn't deserve any of that money.  Really?  REALLY?!  The money is the least of anyone's worries.  Those were donations by people who felt for her cause.  It's not school money, taxpayers money, no--that was sent by people who cared.  The psychologically damaging effects will stay with her, for a good length of time.  If that money allows her to retire and take time off then she needs to do it.  She needs to escape the situation and move forward with her life.  She can, absolutely, with time and self care being the foundations.

It's personal to me.  I have dealt with bullies.  I was not a kid in school.  I was 25-years-old!  I had just graduated from nursing school and worked in the hospital.  There was another nurse (she was a little younger, but had been a nurse longer) that made me miserable.  Nurses give reports on their patients, so the oncoming nurse can continue care.  She would rip my reports apart and ask irrelevant questions she knew I would not know the answers to (it's been so long, I can't remember specifics).  Once, I got really behind, and she was taking over my patients after my shift.  There was a man who needed a heart monitor and I could not find one ANYWHERE.  The hospital, though it had plenty of money for flat screen televisions in all of the rooms and brand new clinics, never had the money for properly functioning equipment.  She loudly complained to everyone she possibly could about how this man needs a heart monitor (though not looking for one herself as she was too busy complaining).  He was very stable (vital signs were fine, ambulatory, oriented, chest pains had subsided) and okay to wait a few minutes while I tried to locate a monitor (though it was important that we found one soon, I am not discounting that).  "She should be fired"  "She is a shitty nurse" etc.  I was still there, after a 12-hour-shift, helping her get things completed.  The charge nurse told me to go home and not help her anymore.  Bless her heart. 

This nurse, we will call her Jane, was a fucking nightmare.  I objectively documented what Jane had said and done (and there were many more situations) and told my manager.  I am NOT one to complain, EVER!  I can handle most situations on my own without involving a supervisor.  She had the nerve to say to me that "She was working on that, she's going through a rough time right now." The manager acted like it was ME who was causing it by telling me that people are frustrated when things aren't completed when they start their shifts.  She didn't even talk to her about it.  Jane had bullied countless other people that she felt were "beneath her."  Nothing was DONE.  NOTHING!  The same nurse manager also encouraged peer reviews.  It is important to get feedback from your coworkers (as the manager doesn't monitor your every move).  However, malicious comments were in quotes throughout the assessment, no names.  "Slow learner, slower than most" was in my review.  Proper job assessments give you constructive feedback and specific examples.  I knew this was not right.  Not all the comments were bad.  Some were quite good.  However, I don't remember those.  In hindsight, I would have gone up the corporate ladder.  If you don't think anything will come of it and you don't have the confidence to deal with the repercussions of what this person could do--you will ignore it and allow it to continue for others.

It never got better.  During this time of being employed at the hospital, I rarely left my house.  I never saw my family or friends.  I couldn't eat.  I developed sores on my tongue, caused by a vitamin deficiency.  I threw up every time I had to go to work.  I lost 25 pounds.  My heart rate would often be in the 130s (normal is 80) from anxiety.  I slept as much as I could.  I truly believed the world would be better without me.  I am NOT exaggerating.  It was that bad.  Things like this are what happens to people that are bullied.  The victim will never let their assassin know that and that is why it continues.

I thought it was me.  It was NOT me!  I found an amazing job as a nurse working with clients with Developmental Disabilities.  Great clients, great staff, great coworkers.  No problems with my new job.  They don't tolerate bullying and it is written into their policy.  I have not had a problem with being bullied since (I had never been bullied BEFORE my hospital situation).  I had a great boss who, inadvertently, helped me get through this.  I never told anyone, though I did tell her several years later.  It has taken years to build confidence and skill--and I know I am a wonderful nurse.  I do the very best I can, and that is all I can do.  I may not be a good painter, I sure as hell am not a good singer, and I can't run to save my life--but I am an excellent nurse because I care, advocate, listen to feedback, follow up, and pursue learning opportunities so I can grow more.  You may have skills and certifications galore--but if you don't care about your patients or care team, it doesn't matter.  It DOESN'T MATTER.

So you are wondering what happened to Jane?  I ran into the charge nurse at Culver's a year later.  We chatted for a while and she knew my issues with Jane.  Jane was mean to the wrong person.  A family member of the CEO of the hospital system.  She was subsequently terminated.  I also saw the peer review forms for my yearly review, last year.  It was an accident (they weren't supposed to be in the packet.).  ALL of the reviews were positive.  Don't let bullies ruin your life.  They will never have the last word.

Monday, October 17, 2011

The iPhone

I heard a rumor in May or June that Sprint was getting the iPhone soon.  I was due for an upgrade in June, but wanted to hold on JUUUUST in case.  I've had Sprint since 1999 (my first plan was a 60 minute per month plan, lol, and I RARELY used it because I just used the landline), and had no reason to ever switch because of a phone.  I also get a 25% discount with Sprint through work.  So I've waited and waited!  Turns out the rumors were true.  iPhones were available for pre-order on October 7th.  I put in my order for an iPhone 4 (as that one was only $99, and Zac's was cool enough) and waited until the 14th, when it came in the mail.  The only differences between the iPhone 4 and 4s are 1) the camera is better and 2) there is a voice activated "helper" (both which I do not need).

Out of a very large brown box came a cute little white box...
containing an i-phone, USB cable/outlet attachment and earphones.  I've never had a phone come with earphones before.  Very nice!

I was on my way out with some friends to a local bar (with Wi-fi), so I brought my phone out there to try to activate it myself.  Though I did not activate my phone on my own, I was able to connect to the Wi-fi.  I could not stop playing with the damn thing.  In fact, I had to go and get it activated before I just DIED.  So I took it to the Sprint store over in West Glen.  Got there at 7:45 pm, closed at 8.  Yes, for that night I was one of THOSE people that I hated.  When I was a server, there were always THOSE people that would come at 9:45 pm (when we closed at 10, on a Saturday) and sit there all night.  Luckily the two technicians out there were super cool and let me stay.  Thank you, thank you!!  I am so sorry, guys.  I think with the launch of the iPhone 4s the same day they knew they'd probably have to stay there that late anyway.  So I tell myself to make myself feel better.

I got my phone activated and took it home...

So far:

With the Netflix app, I've listened to several episodes of "Basketball Wives."  I drove out to Omaha to see a friend for a birthday, and was very impressed with the video/sound quality.  None of that "refreshing" stuff.

I enjoy watching Evelyn cause a bunch of drama!  I can't help it!!

I've been "checking in" with the Foursquare app.  Checking in at the chiropractor's office (yes, the one that I don't need to go to, but bought all the adjustments and am stuck with now), check!

Done some on-phone banking with the USAA app.  You can even take pictures of your checks to deposit them!  I haven't tried this yet.

Listening to music with the Pandora app.  Who knew Foster the People had other songs besides "Pumped Up Kicks"--and that they are really good!

The list goes on and on...I'm sure you could do some of these things with a Droid but whatever...I love my iPhone!

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

What I'm loving Wednesdays Part 2

Hello!  Just wanted to let you know what I'm loving today!!

Greek Quinoa and Avocado Salad from "Better Homes and Gardens:  Anyone Can Cook" book.  It's true!  Anyone can with these recipes.  They are organized in skill levels (1,2,3)--and even the 3's are not that difficult.  I fixed this for dinner.  It's light, healthy, and incorporates my beloved lemon/olive oil combo with my favorite grain, quinoa (keen-wa).  Quinoa is easy to cook (less than 15 minutes), plus it's a complete protein all on it's own.  Take that rice and beans!  This is also delicious with couscous, which is even easier to cook, 5 minute tops!

Greek Quinoa and Avocado Salad (from "Better Homes and Gardens:  Anyone Can Cook")
1/2 cup uncooked quinoa, rinsed and drained
1 cup water
2 roma tomatoes, seeded and finely chopped
1/2 cup fresh spinach
1/3 cup finely chopped red onion (I omitted this)
2 tablespoons lemon juice
2 tablespoons olive oil
1/2 teaspoon salt
Spinach leaves
2 ripe avocados, halved, seeded, peeled and sliced
1/3 cup crumbled feta cheese

Mix the quinoa and water in a saucepan.  Bring to boil, then simmer for 15 minutes, covered.  Keep it in the pan, mix in tomato, spinach and onion, stir to combine.  Whisk together lemon, olive oil, and salt.  Toss to coat.  Place spinach leaves on 4 salad plates.  Arrange avocado slices on the spinach leaves.  Spoon mixture over avocado slices.

Easiest Recipe Ever.  

Rainy days.  Today couldn't make up it's mind.  I woke up to thunder and lightning.  By the time I left this morning, it was cloudy.  Then around 10:30 a.m., the sun came out.  Around 1:30 p.m., looked like it was about 8 p.m. outside, choked with rain.  Now it's sunny again!  I love rainy days (and we've been pretty low on them lately around Iowa).
Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.  I love them and always have.  Especially the miniatures!  A main staple in my refrigerator.  I may not always have milk or butter, but I usually have Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011


So, there is an article promoting 10,000 free round trip tickets to Japan!!  The catch (and what a catch because I think I'd do this anyway) that you've gotta blog about it and promote the country.  It's trying to promote tourism since the tsunami.

I would LOVE to go back to Japan!  I grew up in a military family and lived in Japan for a few years.  I was there from 2nd-4th grade (late 80s/early 90s). Old enough to remember, but too young to truly appreciate, possibly.

The tsunami was really sad!  Unbelievable.  You know what popped into my head, though?  I would NOT be surprised if everything was cleaned up and rebuilt already!

Monday, October 10, 2011

American Eagle Jeans

Here's a random post of the night:
American Eagle Outfitters was a favorite of mine in college.  Their cute clothes were perfect for walking around on campus (Shout out to Iowa State, yay)!  I spent many a dollar at American Eagle.  Nothing like an A&E hoodie to wear out on campus or a cute sweater...
So, towards the end of September, I was walking through the mall with Zac and saw that American Eagle was having a sale ($29.99 for most pairs of their jeans), I was pretty stoked.  I hadn't gone in the store for YEARS and was looking for some cute skinny jeans.  American Eagle, well had them...
I bought some that kind of looked like this...
They are my favorite 80s throwback that aren't so 80s anymore!  I wear them with flats, like the model shown here, or boots, and, voila super cute!  Skinny jeans, to me, look put together, and when it's snowy outside, they don't drag along the ground causing that 6 inches of cold, wet jean along  your calves, oh brrrr.....and they get all dirty...not a fan of regular, boot cut jeans during the winter (though I wear those also, just need to make sure to wear taller shoes when it snows...)...but here's the thing. 

They smell...

Really a bleachy, dirty, hung in a chicken coop type smell.

I'm not kidding!

I don't know if I want to wear them.  I don't think other people can notice.  I tend to be one of those people that washes their jeans every time I wear them, so I go through a lot of jeans (!)...and I like them to smell fresh out of the dryer.  These jeans don't smell like that.  AND it's not just these--I bought two other pairs and they smell just the same.  My other jeans don't have a smell, it's just my American Eagle ones...

The guy checking me out called me ma'am, which was kind of "stinky" too.  My mom is ma'am!  Not me!  Zac was like, it IS obvious you are older than a lot of the people in the store, you're not dressed like a teenager and you don't look like one.  Thanks ;).  He didn't say it mean, but maybe it's time I don't go shopping down memory lane. 

I'm not the only one who's noticed this...

What is your fashion quirk?  Anyone ever notice this at another store?

Thursday, October 6, 2011

My Morning Routine

Thank you Amber from "A Little Pink in The Cornfields" for your blog idea!  I decided to go with my morning routine instead of night routine, because I am bad-to-the-bone and basically go to bed without washing off my make-up (of note: I do brush my teeth).  Not much of a night routine.

My mornings during the week are usually the same.

1) 5:15 a.m.:  Zac's alarm wakes me up, usually does not wake HIM up.  I am one of those people that relishes those minutes in bed, so though I'm ready to get up, I lounge in bed for awhile.  Zac is honestly still sleeping (and he shouldn't be because he has a 45 minute drive to get to work by 7:30a.m.).

2) 7:00 a.m.:  Officially wake up and turn on my *pager*, which I keep next to my bed.  No, you did not stumble into a blog post from 1999.  For my job, I have to carry a pager.  Haaaa!  During the week I carry a pager from 7 am-5pm (Monday-Friday), overnight once a week, and every 4th weekend.  Get grumpy if someone calls at 7:01 a.m.  I need that time when I wake up to not talk to anyone.  I try not to be to people on the phone, it's not their fault they have to call.

3) 7:02 a.m.:  Stumble into the bathroom, and usually find Phil (the cat) in the bathroom sink.  It always makes me laugh.  Take shower.

4) 7:20 a.m.:  Get out of shower, get dressed, put in contacts.  The contacts are relatively new to my life.  Yet amazing.  I didn't realize how poorly I could see until I started wearing contacts in May.  I always had a prescription, just rarely used it.  Anyway, amazing.  I use the kind you can throw away every day.  No muss no fuss.

5) 8:00 a.m.:  Grab a Diet Coke and head out the door.  So healthy.  I love Diet Coke, it is my lifeline. 

Monday, October 3, 2011

A piece of the weekend

The weekend did not start off right.  I went home from work on Friday with gastroenteritis.   Stomach flu.  Not fun.  For a nurse, I'm a really big baby when I'm sick.  I constantly think about how sick I am and how I need to be resting, drinking fluids etc.  I feel sorry for myself!  I want people to feel sorry for me!  Biggest.  Hypochondriac.  Ever.  I guess I wouldn't say I'm a hypochondriac, because I'm not one of those people who always THINKS they are sick with something.  I find that amusing, actually.  Possibly a coping mechanism.  For the record, I just feel sorry for myself when I'm actually sick, lol.  I stayed in bed all day and night after I got home (which was approximately 10 am).  Oddly enough, Zac ended up coming home with the same bug!  So misery had company.
Luckily, a good sleep cured what ailed me!  Saturday, Amber and I went to the Downtown Farmers' Market.  We had a great time perusing the stands.  It was a beautiful, sunny day and everyone seemed to be in a good mood.  I quickly got over being sick.  Amber's long-haired double-dapple dachshund Lexi got SO much attention.  She is absolutely adorable, so how could she not?  Such a calm, sweet thing.  I bought fingerling potatoes and jalapeno peppers.  Approximately 5 lbs of fingerling potatoes.  What the heck am I going to do with all those?  I suppose Zac and I will eat them/let them sprout.  It had been awhile since I'd been to the farmer's market and I didn't want to buy too much since I didn't have bags.  I didn't realize all they had though--I'm definitely going to be getting grass fed beef and local Gouda cheese next time.

Soon I'll post real pictures.  I have two cameras I keep in my purse.  Two.  Unfortunately I was taking pictures with the camera that doesn't have the ability to upload, due to me losing the cords.  Whoops.  So next time, I will use the other camera.  Maybe not keep the other one in my purse.  I think it's  funny when people take pictures and they just keep them in their camera.  Like it's own little portable photo album.  I JUST found out how to find pictures from the internet to post to my blog.  Changed my life.  I'm not very computer literate, except when it comes to Facebook!  I don't even really know how to use that deeply either.  There are always new things to learn.